Motherhood is just a part of me, but I am my own person. I don’t introduce myself as “Mom”, but as “Franziska” or “Franzi”. My identity embodies so much more than “Mom.” I am passionate about human rights, art, education, social issues, love, loss and empathy.
I am a writer. I am a student, I am a friend, a daughter, a sister, a partner, a confidante. I am a fighter. I’m stubborn, opinionated, irritable, and sometimes (but almost never) wrong.
Staying at home forced me to take on much more of the “mom” identity than I wanted to. I make no apologies for feeling the way I feel. I’m not worried that anyone will read this and think I’m a bad mother; I know what kind of mother I am. I’m sure. But I also know that I am not “just” a mother.
I am a woman. I am someone who enjoys being intellectually challenged. I enjoy interacting with other adults and talking to them about more than just feeding times, naps, potty training, school lunches, homework, and after-school activities. Staying home full time was never for me. I constantly felt uninvolved. I felt like I wasn’t contributing enough to the family because I wasn’t contributing financially. I felt unworthy of my place. My days were a constant cycle of cleaning, cooking, laundry, feeding, cleaning, cooking, laundry. That wasn’t enough. It could not go on like that. I needed more. And, hey, maybe other moms have more help, or less stress, or just take things a lot more lightly.
I definitely created my own version based on my life circumstances.
Does staying at home with your children make you happy? Fantastic! Does working outside the home make you happy? Do that!. I never understood the whole debate between stay-at-home moms and working moms. Do what makes you feel human. Do what fulfills you. Find a balance. Find your identity again. Find yourself and be happy with who you are.
I’m sure other mothers who have returned to work after maternity leave have had the same experiences. I’m not sure what I expected. The world continued to turn as it should. Business continued. The cyclical nature of the consultation took place. People left, new people came, people were laid off. Business continued. In a way it’s comforting that nothing has changed, but also sad because nothing has changed.
- When I was a child, I was very good at resolving conflicting children Other children called me to make other children friends again.
- I was a fast and fearless runner when I was young. I fell and injured myself many times, but that never stopped me from playing.
- My body produced milk after birth. Wow!
- I have made the most difficult stakeholders my allies and gained their trust.
I’ve been building my list for a while now, no matter how big, small or silly the win is, I write it down. I believe in it and it helps me believe in myself.
I believe this simple greatest achievement exercise has helped me find contentment and peace within myself.
It is a feeling of realization that has flowed through me. The phrase “I was once someone” is not true because I am someone to the people I care about. It is not true because I am no less. In fact, I am even more than what I was before.
I’m not just a “someone”, I’m a fucking ROCKSTAR!
Your Franzi
